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Big Girl Bed Much Too Soon

This past month, my little girl went from baby to big girl.
So much changed so quickly.
“J” she says as she touches her chest, “Momma” as she touches mine.
I am me and you are you.
I am here and you are there.
We are separate and that is scary.
The sweet, white crib she slept so well in for 13 months is much too restrictive.
“MommaDada”, today is the day for freedom, her big, tear-filled eyes cried.
“Bye, Bye crib” she emphatically said, and waved farewell, with a huge smile on her face as she and Dada took it apart screw by screw.
Hello big girl bed with body pillow bolsters.
Big enough for my baby girl and Momma or Dada, whoever she deems she needs most in the wee hours of the morning.
Today, with a leaky nose and sleepy eyes, my 1 ½ year old baby girl touches my chin to get me up from her bed so she too doesn’t have to lay her head down and rest.
“Up, Momma, Up.”
She cries with her “pacis” in her mouth and for so many unknown reasons I can only guess come along with this new phase of her life.
I hold her with her legs wrapped tightly around my waist and her heavy head on my shoulder, and in minutes, slowly feel the weight of her sleeping body.
I love this moment.
I miss these moments from her first days in my arms.
After rocking for a few minutes, I lay her down on her big girl bed, cover her with a blanket and leave.
Only to watch her sweet, sleeping face, with arms outstretched above her head from the monitor downstairs.
I look at my little baby in this ocean size, full size bed and can see her future….laying in bed, dreaming of things to come, sitting upright and doing homework, lounging and chatting with a friend on the phone.
Bye, bye baby crib. Hello Big Girl Bed.
It’s much too soon, much too fast for Momma.
Slow down, sweetie pie.
A mantra I am certain, I will repeat to you throughout our lives.
Slow down, baby.

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